A Thrill of Hope

I sat gazing at the Christmas tree, its blinking lights symbolic of the war within me. BLINK. I absolutely love Christmas; it’s my favorite time of the year.  BLINK.  I suffer from ulcerative colitis; it cares not about holidays.  BLINK.  There’s nothing more magical and spiritual than celebrating our Savior’s birth.  BLINK.  Christmas with colitis?  BLINK.

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining

I played Monopoly with my daughter and read books to my son.  We snuggled on the couch and watched our favorite movies together.  I tried to pretend that I didn’t know what was coming, but I had been through it too many times to deny it.  After I tucked my little loves into bed, I let it wash over me.  The disappointment, the despair, the tears that could do nothing to thwart yet another UC flare-up.

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

In sixteen years, I’ve never asked WHY ME?  Not once.  Yet this Christmas I’ve never come so close to screaming those words aloud.  At the last second, I managed instead a strangled WHY NOW?

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

I wrapped gifts with Christmas music playing softly in the background and clung to my faith more tightly than ever.  I counted my blessings.  I reminded myself that I still had life, still had possibilities, even if my hope was fading.  I couldn’t cure my disorder, but there were medicines that could curb its symptoms.  Sure, the steroids might trigger the dreaded and bloated moon face, might add pounds to my weak body, might grow hair in unwanted places and flavor food with the taste of metal.  So what? I was alive.  I was happy. 

'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth

I’ve always known this was my cross to bear, and for sixteen years I’ve borne it bravely.  I just never realized that I had yet to truly accept that this cross would be a lifelong struggle, or to realize that it might get worse as I aged, rather than better.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices

Then I heard the song drifting through my holiday-laden house, and I truly listened.  Then my tears—bitter, desperate, despairing—turned to ones of hope.  He was born and died for me.  He would help carry my burden.  All I had to do was let Him.

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

I am the first one to admit I get caught up in the holiday hype.  I will also throw myself the most lavish pity party when another UC flare-up visits me.  I am selfish, flawed, and often wayward.  I always say I know the real reason for the season, but I never really felt it in such a raw way until this year.

Fall on your knees

My hope did waver this year; it was a thin thread amongst my candy canes, winter  boots, and mounting depression.  I was angry about my health issues.  I was frustrated.  I was hopeless.  Yes, I loved my family and counted my blessings, but I was still lost.  It wasn’t until a simple song reached out to me, and He found me again.  That was my holy night, and I hope it gives me strength in the battle to come.  No, I know it will.

 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Snow Days Are...

 

Making magical memories where siblings (equal) best friends.

Letting imaginations run wild as backyard blankets of snow become unexplored kingdoms.

Discovering an untold wealth of creativity cloaked in the simplicity of white snow and colored water.

Whittling the world down to the beautiful confines of two children and endless smiles.

Yeah, all that & more.

Welcome, December!

But first, my sincere apologies to November.  That was such a busy, busy month that I never even considered blogging.  I had two weddings (one of which I was photographer!) and an Indy bachelorette party scheduled, plus several other minor events.  Every weekend was a flurry of activity, and I barely managed to keep up with both my personal and professional obligations.  Still, I was more than happy to share a wedding day with one of my favorite brides ever, and it was a pleasure to process all the photos from that happy celebration.

 

Isn't she lovely?

Of course, December has arrived beautifully, and today we're enjoying our first official snow day.  Hence the first real chance to update with a post. Honestly, I know I've likely missed so many wonderful opportunities to include, but I think it would just be easier to start from today.  Except for Hudson's Christmas program.  It was too sweet to overlook. 

 

He makes me smile.

Here's a few snapshots of our fun in the snow from earlier today.  From Saint Nick (who stopped by this morning with stockings full of goodies) to wrapping Christmas gifts, we've been filled with holiday cheer.  So as I watch snow blanket the backyard and prepare to start some taco soup, I am planning to return soon with regularly scheduled blogging at its best.

 

 

Happy December!

Autumn Activities

In the interest of time laziness, here are some quick recaps of our recent autumn activities:

Huntingburg Herbstfest



 

Holiday World Halloween Weekends

 

Mesker Park's Boo at the Zoo

 

 

October-Blessed

Yes, I could shamefully explain how and why I have managed to disappear from blogging for almost three months.  I could hem and haw about what we've been up to lately, and how I'm still trying to adjust to being back on a school-schedule.  Sure, I might explain that I've switched from teaching high school English to middle school Language Arts, and how that transition has monopolized much of my extra time.  Or how my colitis flare-up is finally settling down and allowing me to live like a normal human.

 

Instead, how about let's focus on the beauty of October?  KThanks.

 

 

 

No one says it better than Anne Shirley.  Seriously, though, it feels good to be back online and sharing life's little moments, especially during this awe-inspiring time of year.  We're currently on fall break (love those perks of a teacher's schedule!) and taking time to enjoy the year's last warmth before the breath of winter blows into us.  And yeah, I'll try to stick to a better blogging schedule from now on, friends.

 

 

Cheers,  

Insta-Summer

Well, we've hit that panicky end-of-summer point, where our fun time is quickly coming to a close.  We're torn between totally lounging at home and soaking up those last lazy summery days, or filling our remaining schedule with play dates and other activities.  It's always a toss-up, but this year we're essentially combining the two.  In fact, we've even managed to squeeze some back-to-school shopping (gah!) in there as well.

 

In the meantime, here's some insta-shots of what's been keeping us busy lately.

 

 

Besides catching a few games at the League Stadium, we also paused to enjoy the amenities at the nearby park.  I'm still a little skittish there, recalling when Ava broke both wrists on the monkey bars last year, but I tried not to let that stop our fun.

 

 

Of course, we've made excellent use of our Holiday World season passes.  This year, I think we did a nice job spreading ourselves around all the various attractions and swimming areas.  Never a boring day there!

 

Both kids enjoy the Jasper Riverwalk and its playground area, so anytime we're in Jasper with some extra time, we try to stop there for a bit.  That always gets a few smiles.  Plus, while in that part of town, we've also stopped at the theatre to catch some good movies: Despicable Me 2 and Turbo.

 

These shots (above and below) are from the Fourth of July.  We had a fun, family-filled independence day, sprinkled with all the traditional events: a cook-out, swimming, catching fireflies at dusk, sparklers, a fireworks show, and smores to finish out the night.

 

Our most recent stop was CMoE, another favorite of ours (below).  It was a beautiful day in Evansville, and although I was in favor of visiting the zoo, I was out-voted by everyone else.  We spent a few enjoyable hours there in between eating at Steak 'n Shake and shopping for school shoes at Shoe Carnival.

 

Although we're in that tricky transitional time before our lives switch into school mode, it's nonetheless been a lovely summer with a stretch of beautiful weather.  Here's to focusing on life's simple pleasures (sleeping in, Popsicles in the backyard, taking a walk in the evening) as we finish out these last few days of our summer break.

 

Enjoy!

Holy Sink Surprise, Batman!

(This is the last post that still pertains to our Destin trip.  After a four-day technology conference last week, I managed to snag a wicked virus on my personal laptop.  I’ve since had it completely retooled by a professional, and I’m ready to get back on the blog train.  I’ve got a lot piled up, so brace yourself for an onslaught of end-of-summer posts.)

We had been in the minivan for fourteen hours (minus a few bathroom breaks, a fantastic brunch at Cracker Barrel, and a quick late afternoon nosh at Wendy’s).  Miraculously, the kids had been unbelievably well-behaved in their car seats.  They played their Leap Pads.  They colored.  They watched DVD’s.  They were—in a word—good. 

We needed that.  We really, really needed that.

Because there was something ominous waiting for us at home.  We could never have predicted it, nor prepared for it.  Our house had been waiting for us for a week now, ceiling fans motionless, air conditioner turned off, with the slight musky odor of an unlived-in building pervading the air. 

After fourteen hours on the road, we were exhausted.  Our dirty clothes were shoved into suitcases.  Sand littered the bottom of the van.  Our Florida tans had turned our skin slightly crinkly.  We wanted our own beds, a long sleep, and the chance to reclaim our normalcy. 

It was almost 9 PM when we finally pulled into the driveway.  Both kids were unbuckled and on the front porch before I could blink.  Yeah, they were ready to be home.  Once inside, they ran around happily while Erik carried in our stuff.  I wanted to take baths, but Hudson was starving and requested scrambled eggs and toast.  After a cursory glance at our fridge and pantry, I was amazed that we actually had eggs and bread. 

I instructed him to wash his hands in the bathroom, and I began to make a quick late supper.  Thank God my little man chose the left sink for his hand-washing, because the right-side sink held nothing but trouble for us, though we didn’t know it yet.

I made scrambled eggs and toast.  I sat with my son at the kitchen table and let the tranquility of home settle around me.  I chose not to remember the scuttling sounds I’d heard in our attic before departing for our trip.  We had assumed it was a nest of mice (though with all those annoying feral cats that our neighbors feed and encourage, it’s a wonder any mice could survive our neighborhood).  I just wanted to finish up this meal, complete baths, and go to bed.

Then I went into the bathroom.  I saw Hudson had left his hand towel strewn across the sink.  I went to pick it up.  I noticed a dark blur in the right-side sink.  I let my brain process that, and then I screamed. 

This is what I saw:

 

 

It wasn’t hanging upside-down.  No, it was curled in a ball in the middle of the drain.  It wasn’t moving, and I didn’t care if it was dead or alive.  It was a bat.  In my house.  In my sink.  I knew instantly that it had come from the attic, and that I had been hearing its little wings beat instead of baby mice those last few weeks.  I had hoped that by ignoring the problem it would go away, but instead it had ruined my homecoming from Destin.  Fabulous.

Erik took the news less well than I did.  He was ready to bolt from the house to the nearest hotel and pay for one more night away from home.  But once I settled down, I knew I wasn’t leaving yet.  This was my home, and I wanted to sleep here. Plus, I thought the bat was dead.  While Erik spouted statistics about rabies and shots, I got a couple of big spoons and a Ziploc bag.  How hard could it be to dispose of a dead bat?

It stank. Badly.  It had to be dead, right?  I secured my Ziploc bag inside an old plastic pitcher and held both spoons steadily in my hands.  I was moving in for a scoop-style method and felt pretty BA that I was handling this situation better than my husband.  Then I actually touched the thing, and it HISSED at me!

It was ALIVE!  In my sink!  In my house!

I flew from the bathroom, the spoons clattering to the floor behind me.  I slammed the door shut and informed my family that I wasn’t sure we should be sleeping in the house.  What if there were more upstairs?  After some speculation, we discussed our options and then called my parents.  It was nearly 10 PM by now, and we needed somewhere to crash. 

Still no baths.  Still in our fourteen-hour-traveling-clothes.  Still thankful my parents live less than five minutes away.

 --------------------------------------------------

So that really happened.  We had arrived home on a Saturday night, which meant that the next day was a Sunday, and it was impossible to get ahold of any reputable pest-control people.  Luckily, my dad knew a guy who ended up giving us quite the 411 on our little bat situation.  (1) Most pest control businesses won’t mess with bats.  (2) This guy had already been contacted by several of our neighbors, who had also had bat problems.  (3) Apparently a nearby church had similar bat problems and did a sweep of their bats, sending them out into our neighborhood to find alternative housing.  (4) My next-door-neighbor had recently purged nearly fifty bats from his chimney.  (5) In the end, my own father had to use a special tool to remove our single bat from our bathroom sink.  I’m not sure what he did with it afterwards, and I’m still not sure I want to know.

Here’s something you don’t realize when you have a bat in your house.  That bat itself isn’t really the problem.  It can be removed and forgotten rather easily, but it’s the lingering threat of additional bats that really wreaks havoc on the mind.  How many bats were actually in our attic?  Could there be more lurking away, just waiting to appear in our bedrooms in the middle of the night?  You’d be surprised how little we slept during the next week or so, waiting to hear those similar tell-tale signs of bat wings fluttering up in the attic.  We even went so far as to find the actual hole where our bat had escaped into our bedroom and then down into our bathroom.  How did we know?  There were tiny bat turds underneath the hole.  Eek!  So far, nothing new has surfaced, but I’m not sure I’ve had a full night’s rest since finding our sink surprise, and I’m not sure I’ll ever fully recover from the shock of it.    

Destin Wrap-Up

Well, as you can see, we had a fantastic time in Destin, Florida. 

This was the kids' second time to see the ocean (we spent one day on Daytona Beach last year during our Disney trip), but it was really their first opportunity to experience the beach lifestyle for an extended period of time.  Although a week-long trip with young children is never the easiest kind of vacation, it was certainly worth it.  We made wonderful memories and got to spend time with Erik's family in a relaxing getaway.

I even got to check-mark some very important items off my summer to-do list: Get a tan.  Read some books.  Renew my spirit.  Check and mark!

 

Best of all, the kids got to play with their little cousin Cy, whom they both adore.  Thank you, Smiths, for a great experience!

 

Fun Festivities

Sometimes, when I travel, my natural instincts are to pack as much fun as possible into every single moment.  I will peruse guides and pamphlets, looking for just the right combination of activities for our family.  Although in Destin I did briefly consider visiting the local aquarium, taking a cruise on a pirate ship, and a few other more pricey interests, I will say that luckily we opted out of those options.  Instead, we focused more on relaxing on the beach and swimming with the kiddos at their leisure.  Anything else we did was just icing on the cake for us.  And that, I believe, made all the difference!

One thing we knew we wanted to do was putt-putt.  Both Ava and Hudson enjoy this, and there happened to be a really cool place called The Track just minutes from our resort.  It had two courses: The Island Course (think lots of fun water features) and The Mountain Course (plenty of cool caves to keep off the heat).  We played the first option after dinner one evening, then went back the next day after lunch to play the other one.  Since no one else in our travel party wanted to putt-putt, this gave us a nice opportunity to spend time together just the four of us.  Plus, it was a beautiful space to get our golfin' on.       

 

Of course, my favorite moments were those spent at restaurants around the Destin area!  If you know me at all, you're surely aware of my deep love of food. It's always fun to try out new places, as well as revisit familiar beloved chains.  We did a little bit of both during our vacation.  For the kids, this meant a lot of chicken tenders and French fries; neither one of them is a very adventurous eater.  Although I would have liked for them to branch out a bit, especially try some seafood, I had to remind myself that they are seven and four.  If chicken tenders and French fries keep them happy, then so be it.  Plus, we did visit a Mexican and a pizza place, so at least that forced them to try a few new options. 

 

(On a good note: now that we're home, we're back on the healthy train and eating good combinations of food again, so no harm, no foul.)     

 

 

Just for my own sake, here's a list of some of the yummy places we ate.  This is one of those areas that may bore others, but these are the details I enjoy reviewing long after the trip has ended. 

 

Merlin's Pizza (as delivery on our first night there)

Hog's Breath (great atmosphere and BBQ food)

Joe's Crab Shack (always a favorite!)

Shakes (best ice cream and shakes)

Pepito's Mexican (delicious cheese dip!)

TGIF's (Erik's pick, but at least the kids got slushies)

Outback (can't go wrong here)

McDonald's (a quick lunch with the kids)

The Mellow Mushroom (Hudson's favorite!)

Fudpucker's (Ava's favorite!) 

Silver Shells

 

(If you've been reading this blog recently, you might have put two and two together and realized that YES, I did travel to Florida while suffering from a colitis flare-up.  Holy cow?!?  It was certainly a frightening prospect, but I plunged ahead and actually managed quite well.  Without going into specifics, the first half of the week was touch-and-go (with lots of breaks), but by the second half my meds had really kicked in, and I was nearly back to normal.  While it's never easy for me to attempt these things with my condition flaring, I'm glad I did in this case.  We had a great time, and I felt like less of a victim and more of a normal mom on a trip with her family.  So I at least wanted to acknowledge the miracle of that situation before plunging ahead with more chipper details.)

First up: our resort, Silver Shells Beach Resort and Spa.  My in-laws planned this trip and graciously invited us along, so we had none of the usual vacation stressors and instead simply reaped all of the benefits.  Not a bad little deal. ;)  Our resort was right on the beach with a private area for guests only, so it was never crowded and felt very lush.  We had glass walls in our bedrooms with full views of the ocean, plus a lovely balcony with rockers, chairs, and tables.  We were on the eleventh floor, which of course the kids loved.  There was also a magnificent swimming pool; both Ava and Hudson actually preferred spending time there.

Now, much as this vacation was luxurious and decadent, it nonetheless required some kiddo consideration.  It took us a couple of days to create a schedule that would work for us in terms of keeping the kids rested and happy.  Most days, we ended up having breakfast, then swimming in the ocean or pool in the morning.  We usually came back to the resort for a light lunch (although we did go out for lunch a couple of times), followed by a rest/nap as needed.  Ava had more energy and often returned to swim in the afternoon, but Hudson was usually wiped out and spent most of his early afternoons watching TV, playing on his Leap Pad, or taking a nap.  Erik and I traded duties between overseeing these activities, and that worked out really well for us.   

 

Once our swimmers returned in the later afternoon, we took our showers and got ready for our evening festivities.  This always included eating out (my favorite!), plus other fun stuff like shopping, exploring, and playing putt-putt.  More on that later.   

So....

....we went to the beach!

 

Wow! I have a lot of posts to catch up from our recent trip to Destin, Florida.  It was a fantastic vacation with Erik's family, and like our Disney trip last year, I'll be breaking up our stories into multiple posts.  Since I've already completed our photo book (yeah, I'm crazy like that), I'll just be gradually adding things to the blog throughout the week.  Hopefully I won't bore anyone with our many little adventures, but it's so nice to catalogue our memories in that way.

 

In the meantime, enjoy these shots from our last night on the beach.  They are my favorites from the trip and really capture the beauty of our experiences there.  Once I've finished organizing our house and fine-tuning some cleaning, I'll be back with even more.

 

Enjoy your summer!  Fourth of July is almost here as well!  Can't believe how fast this summer is going.

Take me out to the....

...Dubois County Bombers game!

When I was in the fifth grade, Hollywood came calling to my dear little hometown to film the movie A League of Their Own at our own local League Stadium.  Since that time, the ballpark has been one of my favorite features in Huntingburg.  As a teen, I worked concessions there for the Dubois County Dragons, a local professional baseball team, and have so many beloved memories of those times. 

Now, I get to re-experience the thrill of the stadium with my own children as we attend the Dubois County Bombers games this summer!   

It all started when my brother got a couple extra tickets from work (thanks, Chris!) and I decided to take Ava on a special Friday night date. I wasn't sure how that would go over, but she loved it.  We stayed the entire game, sharing snacks, checking out the players, and enjoying the festivities with the crowd.  She adored the atmosphere and couldn't wait to go back. 

I knew the Bub likely wouldn't last the whole game, so we chose a Wednesday night for his initiation (they had half-price tickets to boot!).  Once again, we loaded up on snacks and settled into the bleacher seats to watch.  Luckily, we also ran into the kids' cousin Alonna and her family that night, so they had a friend to play with too.  It was hot, and since Hudson preferred dancing and prancing to actually sitting down, he got pretty sweaty pretty fast.  We made it to the fourth inning before we headed home, but it was nonetheless a great time. 

(Photo Credit: Dash Photography)

Although Erik's not always patient with these family-fun-outings that I cook up, he gamely came with us and even cooperated when the Bombers' kiss cam found us!  I think we're planning on going again soon with the whole family, and I hope this will become a new Smith tradition in the making.

 

Play ball! 

Walking the Line

Confession: I am a perfectionist.  Well, if I’m being totally honest with myself, I’m more of a former perfectionist who still struggles with the realization that there never was such a thing as perfection.  A work in progress, we shall say.

I’m older.  I’m wiser.  Yet I still find myself striving for that flawlessness just beyond my grasp.  Is it instinct, or bad habit?

Take this summer.  As a parent, as a teacher, as a big believer in rest and renewal, I embrace summer as one of my most important seasons.  I work very hard for ten months out of the year in order to perfectly enjoy those two hard-fought summer months.  Indeed, I write about it every year!  And yes, I have certain expectations for how I want that summer to progress.  Usually, my goals are pretty simple.  Play with my kids.  Read some good books.  Get a tan.  Reinvigorate myself.

I consider myself pretty spoiled in this department, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  Yet invariably even my simple summer plans are not executed without a few hitches.  And that, I’m finally learning, is simply life.  A give and take between what you want, and what you get.

This summer, I really feel like that Paula Abdul song.  One step forward.  Two steps back.  Just when something goes according to plan, several more things fall apart.  I’d been enjoying more than a year of good health in regards to my ulcerative colitis, and I suppose I’d gotten complacent that perhaps my body was finally responding to medication and falling back into normalcy.  I’d been working out regularly, feeling like the old me, and summer was just around the corner.  Perfection!

Then—no.  Just not.  Another flare-up.  Another ugly bout with this chronic condition of mine.  Another reminder that some things will always be out of my own control.  So beyond being limited in how far I can travel and what activities I can do with my children, I’m also back on steroids (and all that entails).  My heavier workouts have been stymied, and my spirits have been rattled.

And yet?  Isn’t this the best time for a flare-up?  A chance to heal at home, without work constraints, without major responsibilities?  God’s time is always the right time, even if we can’t see it.  Amidst all my frustrations, I’m so trying to find that silver lining. 

I carry on, walking the line between positives and negatives.  Pleased that we can afford Holiday World season passes, and that I’ve managed to take the kids without any major problems from my colon.  Frustrated that our Trailblazer and mini-van—both of which we’ve recently paid off—have suddenly required expensive repairs.  It’s been a jarring back-and-forth.

Going to Bombers games at the local League Stadium! 
A nest of mice found living in our attic that keeps us awake all night long.

Filling up the inflatable pool in the backyard and having picnics!
Our drains are suddenly stopped up and stinky.

Having simple time again to keep my home clean and in good condition!
I broke the toilet seat during a recent cleaning.

As Erik likes to remind me, these are merely middle-class American problems, and I know that; I know it.  There’s no doubt how deeply blessed we are, and I cling to that reminder daily.  The Great Physician is still at work on me, and not just physically.  Even at my age, I still have a lot to learn.  Frustrations are simply that: frustrations.  In the grand scheme of things, they mean nothing.  It is how we respond to them that truly form our character, and that is a test I am determined to pass.  In fact, I don’t just want to walk that line; I want to dance it.

Silly Survey 2013

 

Each year around the kids' birthdays, I always administer this same silly survey that I found a-la-Internet.  It's fun to see how their answers change from year to year and child to child.  Ava's answers are pink; Hudson's are blue.  Enjoy!

 

1. What is your favorite color?

Pink

Red

 

2. What is your favorite toy?

Barbies

Skateboard (Umm…he’s never rode one?)

 

3. What is your favorite fruit?

Pineapple

Apple

 

4. What is your favorite TV show?

Scooby Doo

SpongeBob SquarePants

 

5. What is your favorite food?

Pizza

Gummies

 

6. What is your favorite outfit?

Dresses

My baseball shirt

 

7. What is your favorite game?

Candyland

Fibber

 

8. What is your favorite snack?

Fruit Roll-Ups

Pretzels

 

9. What is your favorite animal?

Horse

Giraffe

 

10. What is your favorite song?

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

 

11. What is your favorite book?

I Spy books

SpongeBob SquarePants

 

12. Who is your best friend?

Braelyn

Jacob

 

13. What is your favorite cereal?

Frosted Flakes

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

 

14. What is your favorite outdoor activity?

Swimming

Backyard baseball

 

15. What is your favorite drink?

Sprite

Chocolate milk

 

16. What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas

Halloween

 

17. What is your "lovey" that you sleep with at night?

I don’t have one, but I used to sleep with my mermaid doll.

My puppy

 

18. What is your favorite breakfast food?

Toast

Oatmeal

 

19. What is your favorite birthday meal?

Cupcakes

Ice cream

 

20. What do you want to be when you grow up?

A ballet teacher or a hair salon worker

A mail carrier