To Stand or To Jump

I am standing at the edge of a great precipice, poised between the familiar solid ground behind me and the unknown steep drop-off stretching before me.  There are mighty winds of change swirling around my uncertain figure, teasing rebellious tendrils of hair around my usually dutiful face.  For the moment, I am unsure of what to do. 

I have been content for quite a while to remain on that solid ground.  It is well-known to me, comfortable in its recognizable routines and faces.  As a woman ill-suited to change, it is the natural choice to remain cloaked within the safety of that realm.  It is what I know, what I do, what I understand.

Except, I don’t.  Not really.  Not anymore.

Foreign pebbles have recently gathered in my shoes, kicked around that ground by others who have invaded my comfortable space.  I can no longer tread as safely or as carefree as once I did.  As a woman who refuses to let others deem her worth, it might prove difficult to remain here, limping where once I danced.

Possibilities flicker brightly in my mind.  With a steady breath, I inch toward the edge of the cliff.  Beyond, I can see only blue skies dotted with clouds.  Below, who knows?  I wish I were brave enough to simply run, to plunge into the depths of that possibility.  Even if I missed my solid ground, there could be no turning back then.  I would simply have to face the new land before me.  Yet, as a woman given to contemplation, I cannot simply jump.

I am a wife, a mother, a protector.  I must choose wisely, for more than myself is at stake.

Precipitously, a bird rises from the edge of the cliff, its lilting song a siren call.  What do I trust?  My instincts?  My hopes?  My desperation?  I feel myself shuffle again toward the cliff.  A brisk breeze rises, tangling around my feet.  Is it urging me backward toward the established ground, or will it push me forward into a great unknown?

Closing my eyes, I stretch out my hands as if to grab hold of the answers.  They must be out there somewhere, invisible, capering with the wind, the birds, and the clouds.  I must only listen deeply to all that is around me.  Perhaps, within the whispers of my world, I will find what I need to know.

For today, I simply wait and listen.  Still standing.  Not yet ready to jump.  But heart-stoppingly closer to that precipice than ever before.  Very carefully, I open my eyes…