Sanctity of the Nap

I'm going to be honest; I LOVE sleep. I mean—let's face it—sleep is one of those things our bodies naturally require. And as my husband can report, I am not a happy camper if I don't get my sleep.

Which means my children need their sleep.

Now, this is not—as some of you may think—a post about babies, toddlers, or children who won't nap. Nope, not this one. This post is about those moments when naps go off without a hitch. Dreamland has arrived! Mommy has some much needed rest opportunity, or time to complete chores, or whatever. Yes! And then.....

Ding. Dong.

Why, why, why do people manage to ring my doorbell at the very moment my children slip into a nap? If this was an isolated event, believe me when I say I would shrug and move on and get over it. But it's never a singular incident. Never. Does this happen to other people as well?

Like me, my children are light sleepers. Yes, a doorbell wakes them up! And while I realize the strangers ringing my doorbell (because friends and family never do that, being understanding and respectful and all those wonderful things) do not know there is a sleeping child on the premise, I cannot help but feel overwhelmingly furious at them. You see, the woman waiting for you behind the door of my house totally depends upon whether or not you've just awakened my child—either of them—from a nap.

Just ask the poor boy selling magazines who stopped by the other day. I was exhausted. Hudson was sleeping downstairs, mere feet from the front door. Ava was quietly playing in the playroom. Perfect! I settled onto the couch, felt my eyes go heavy, and reveled in the perfectness of it all.

Ding! Dong!

Poor guy never knew what hit him. As Ava flew into the living room, as Hudson blearily opened his eyes and began to squirm, I felt my blood pressure rise. I flung open the door not caring about my flyaway hair or the fact that I still had a dot of toothpaste on a random pimple (people still do that, right?). There stood a short, stodgy boy with a clipboard; I'm pretty sure he was selling magazines. He opened his mouth to begin his spiel, but I couldn't help myself. He had just ruined my perfect nap. Plus, I already looked crazy. Might as well back that up with my behavior. Before he could get the first word out, I shook my head and growled. Yes, my name is Lori, and I'm a growler. No words came out, just a rumble of frustration. Both furious at him and shocked at myself, I simply slammed the door in his face. Did I feel guilty about that? Yes! What can I say?

But that DOESN'T EVEN COMPARE to Monday. Because Monday? Erik was gone on a golf trip to Indy, Hudson was just getting over his virus, and I was exhausted. By some miracle, Hudson was napping. Ava was playing. I was desperate for a nap. See a pattern here? Yup.

Ding. Dong.

This time, I decided to just ignore it. Maybe if I did, this person would just go away. Maybe I would get lucky and Hudson would sleep through it.

Ding. Dong.

Okay, just to be safe, I took a peek through the playroom window to see who it was. My neighbor, Bill, holding an envelope. Crap! He'd seen my van. He knew I was home. Maybe he'd take the hint, leave the envelope on my porch, and go home.

What he did instead was put his thumb to the doorbell and press down. Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong.

O.M.G. Those next few minutes were a total blur. I know that Hudson woke up. I know that I opened the door and somehow, someway, held a perfectly respectable conversation with my neighbor about how he had mistakenly received a piece of our mail. I know I shut the door and fumed about yet another interruption. I know I somehow ended up with a hammer in my hand, standing on my front porch.

All right, calm down, I didn't injure anyone in my muted fury! Nope, not me. Instead, I very calmly cocked my head, considered my doorbell, and proceeded to WHACK IT OFF WITH THE HAMMER. Yes, I did. Not my proudest moment, but you know what? I dare anyone else to try and ring that sucker while my kids are napping. It won't so much as make a peep.

Now I've just got to figure out what to do about any future knocking.....